Eh....! Dunno why, but I can't access some of my older postings... hmmm.....

I was thinking and thinking you know, that I'm getting tired of blogging all over again. Somehow, I've run out of things to say. Which is really weird. Cos sometimes I walkk around with lots and lotsa stuff in my head, and I'm like "hmmm... better get it all down" But then, I get home, and I forget everything I've thought out earlier. Hmm... talk about short term memory. Not Good, Not Good.

So anyways, I'm all packed and geared up to go. Goody! I tytotally forgot ablut SG. When I packed from Syd to HK, I brought my winter stuff mainly. And now I'm stuck with 2 halters, 1 strap top and a skirt for summer. Totall un-good. I've got no sandals, nor flip flops. So I'm just gonna get those when I get back to Sg.

Somehow, I dread going back. I mean, I'm sooo comfy in Sydney already, and I'm quite comfy in HK already, and when you think about it, they're foreign places, aren't they? Its not like I was born in those places, and I can hardly call it my home, now can I? Even so, I dread going back to SG all the more maybe because its even worse to feel totally disoriented in your own homeland... know what I mean? Considering the fact that I haven't been back for a whole year already, lots have probably changed. And I just hate being a stranger in my own country. Limei wrote something about how its really weird and exciting, having to look at things with a new peerspective. I guess its fresh and novel in its own way. But still. I hate having to adapt to everything all over again. And its always the same story..... sigh...... Aiyah. At least I get to see everyone else when I get back lah. I've just realised how much contact I've lost with peeps back in sg when Stev msged me on friendster today. Hehe! Yet another person who didn't knwo that I was in Aussie.

Bad Monkey!

BTW, wondering bout the Bad Monkey thingy? Its another one of Zu's thingy lah.

Dang! He's infecting me!

Oh yah, And I forgot. I did another Stupid test.... You know... the Queer Eye ones. Hmph. I want KYAN!!! And look who I ended up with? Ted.... Oh well, they're all gay anyway.


Ted: Food & Wine Connoisseur


Which Member from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy is your type?
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And this one too!


Congratulations! You're Legolas!


Which Lord of the Rings character and personality problem are you?
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Eh, am I really that neh neh? Can't be right?

You are The Twins, from "The Matrix."
Bad, but with a sexy streak- surprisingly
refreshing. You know what you want, when you
want it.


What Matrix Persona Are You?
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So cool!!! Haha! I'm one of the Twins! How Rad is that??

Been shoppin a bit lately! And so pleased with all my little prezzies, as my other twin sis likes to put it! Finally bought a pair of ballet pumps with a pretty bow, and a watch, and loadsa earrings. Gonna be going bag crazy soon, but haven't seen a bag hat I've absolutely got to have yet though... hmmm...

Will be leaving for Sg soon.... hmm.... dunno if I'll have internet access though... wonder if I should bring my lappie along. But its prob gonna be more troiuble than its worth anyway lah, so don't think I shall do it.

Can't watch any dvds or vcds now.

Totally bored.

Bored!

Darn!! Its tuesday, and I'm gonna be leaving for sg on Sat.... Haven't got anything much done yet. Argh!

Anyway, had a cold and was an invalid for a couple of days, and that's why haven't been blogging. So decided to try an update this blog b4 I forget and stop blogging altogether! Haha!

I was right. I was surfing blogs previously, and I noticed that Someone's blog hasn't been updated for quite awhile, which really surprised me. I mean, she's a very very very regular blogger, so I kinda knew that something's happened. I mean, she normally stops blogging for awhile, and then her entries after the break are usually pretty depressing stuff. Normally its either about her job, or her 'special' friend. Well, I was right this time round when she finally went vback too blogging... Hmmm... do hope that she's ok. Even so, its really ironic that I don't even know her, and she doesn't even know me..... So there you go. We're both in a virtual community and in an imagined one too! (check out Benedict Anderson)

Notice that I have not exactly identified anyone here. Well, was just thinking in the shower that I'd better stop the naming thingy. Cos what happens if something happens like 2 months down the road??? Its such a hassle to go back and change everything else in 2 mths worth of blogs innit??!

Ok lah. Enuff Crapping. I'm bored.

Darn! I just lost a posting!

Never mind. All I wanted to say was that I figured that if I could link other people and they don't necessarily have to know about it, then they could do the same too right? And who knows who else might read it yah? I mean, wufus could be reading this right now yah? So I just did the next logical thing which is to change a few.... err... sensitive names!!! Heh! Just one actually! And that's Miss "Yan" otherwise referred to as Y as well! Hahaha! So me and Feli both have Agent Ys in our lives! How coool is that?! Shall tell her soon! She'll prob think its funny! Hehe!

Just started thinking of the names I have for people.... You know, when I first told Clary about WUFUS' new nick, he said it was pretty mean... come to think of it, it is right? So from now on, WUFUS=Ralph!! You don't see the connection do you?! But never mind. That's for me to know and you to find out anyway!

I think I'm weird today.

I think i'm extrememely incoherent today.

I'm so proud of myself and I seek "Acknowledgement"!!! That's right folks gather round and hear what I've got to say!!! I-HAVE-ALREADY-BATHED-BEFORE-BLOGGING!!!!! Hhahaha!!!! Nahhh.... That's so dumb. Was flipping through some of the older entries, and it hsa just came to my attention that I've got the very bad habit of blogging before bathing..... hmmm..... Bad Monkey!!! But anyway, I'm fresh faced, nicely powdered, bright eyed and in my grey trackies with my ass firmly parked in front of the computer already!!

Bravo Lea!!!

Now, I have a story to tell.

I died yesterday. Hoestly I did. I thought that I had finished cramping yesterday, and I decided to go to the kitchen for some hot ginger tea and 2 aspirins handy just in case it comes back again. And it came back with a vengence, it did. Thought I wouldn't be able to make it back into my room again. Thankfully, I managed to crawl back into my room to die in the comfort of my own bed. And I was crampin so badly, I thought I wasn't gonna make it. Serious. While I was prayin for God to take my pain away, it hit me just then. You know... its the fact that I'm in so much pain, and I'm dying already. But what about the pain that Christ had to suffer for us? And when you think about it, how unjust it was too. I'm just seeing it from an entirely personal perspective. Christ was pure. He was the perfect Lamb and He had no sins. And yet, in order to save all of us, He took such a horrendous punishment on our behalf. How awesome is that? I cramped and I felt as though I was suffering so much already. What were my cramps compared to what Christ had to go through?? I admit, I'm a thoroughly selfish person. I was thinking too, that if someone asked me to cramp for someone else, d'you think I would do it??? I Wouldn't!!! That's how selfish I am. And this whole thing has made me see what Christ has done for us in an entirely different light. It goes to show how much He went through all for us, and how much God loves us, to send His only son to die for us in such a ghastly manner. And in a way, it has also made me understand why we get death and judgement when we turn against Him. Well, there you go. That's my little story.

Yah. So anyway, I just checked my results today, and I PASSED!!!! Yah yah... i know... what's the big deal right??? Thing is, I honestly didn't expect to pass. Played too much already this sem. Hrumph. Guess I'll have to settle down and stuff my face in books next sem yah??? I mean seriously. When I say pass. I literally mean pass. Scraped through with a 50 for Personality Theory and Individual Differences. Now THAT'S scary!!!

I shall stop this from getting too long and go watch some TV now.

This is so sad. I have no life. I have no life to the extent that I've been watching re-runs of Huanzhu Gege I & II, and watching Meteor Garden for the 3rd time.

I seriously have no life.

This no-lifer shall go get entertained by the Box now.

Till Lata!

Tootsy Loo! :)

Was doin devotions this morn, and how apt it was. You see, if we're looking at fellowship, then we also have to look at the issue of mercy and forgiveness. Its all very well and easy to say that so and so is your brother or sister in Christ, and yet bear grudges or keep rubbing mistakes in. But the point is that we're all imperfect people anyhow, and inevitably we'll hurt one another, whether we know it or not, and since we stumble and fall along the way, then we all need mercy don't we? But that's the thing with us. Its hard to forgive, and its even harder to forget, especially if you feel as though you have not been vindicated. So how? I guess looking at it practially from a certain point of view, there's no point in bearing grudges cos all it does is agitate you and exhaust you. Plus you've got all this resentment bottled up inside that's just gonna start eating at you. Then again, there's a big difference between forgiveness and trust isn't there? Forgiveness is letting go of the past. And trust has to do with future behaviour. Forgiveness should be immediate, whether or not a person asks for it. Trust must be rebuilt over time and requires a track record. So, if a person hurts you repeatedly, you are commanded by God to forgive him, but you are not expected to trust them as you once did, nor are you expected to continue allowing them to hurt you. So there you go. I've figured that forgiveness to me basically means not raking up the past. You know......... to just start over with a clean slate basically, and not dig it up and throw it in that person's face whenever you fight or quarrel. So there you go.

Leanne's first step to World Peace

Btw, I hope you see how this applies to WUFUS. Grrrrrr.......! :)

Ok. I've just spoken to Reubs. Am really glad that I was able to get him over the phone. But anyways. Talking to Reubs has really cleared up loadsa stuff for me. I now know what a slimeball WUFUS is. GRRRRRRRRR..... just thinking about it's making me feel rather agitated all over again. Arrrrgggggghhhhhh!!!!!! I was telling Reubs over the phone that that's it for me. I've come to the conclusion that He's just a huge slimeball, and that the next time I start making excuses for him or whatever, I'm just gonna think about how shitty it feels to be insecure. I'll think of all the things he's said to me, and I'll think of all he doesn't do. Then I'll think of how he flirts with anyone pretty, and how superficial he can get.

I think I've placed him on a pedastal for waaay too long, and I've more or less been relatively blind to all his short comings.

No more.

No longer will I start making excuses for him.

No longer will I lie to myself and convince myself that I've genuinely been able to look past all his faults and little imperfections, and that I still "love" him for who he is.

That's it man.

No more.

No more back and forths.

I refuse to Run.

Illi vos credo est deruptus, babe. My trust is broken.

just 4 words

illi vos credo est deruptus

I hate doing this, but I'm not gonna talk about him first off.

I shall make a worthy endeavor to talk about other stuff. About what's goin on in my puny miserable no-life right now. Like what Hockie used to say when you asked him how his life was --> IRRELEVANT.

I never knew how that made sense, but guess I do now.

I actually woke up early today.--> in a relative sense of course. Definitely not early by Leanne and Feli's standards, but definitely super early by Limei's!!! Went to the gym with mum at 11, and had a relatively good work out. Hahahaha!!! I feel damn good. I mean, I hate sweating and all that, but somehow, I don't ever get satisfied if sweat doesn't drip down into my eyes, literally. So. I started off doing some weights. Don't really know what you call it, but you know how you sit and bend your knees in a 90 degree position, feet up in the air in front of you and you start pushing the board with both feet???? Yup. That was what I was doin. That's supposed to work out your thigh muscle, so hopefully its gonna work. I figured that I'd better do something about my thighs, cos they're beginning to splat out a lot when I sit.... worse than thunder thighs.

Then I decided to run some. So i hopped onto the treadmills, and started goin for 1/2hr. Hm...... not too bad. Did slightly more that 2 miles I guess. Then went on to do more leg thingies that are supposed to tone up your inner thighs, followed by 100 situps. I think I'm weird though, cos I think I should do all those stuff before jumping on the treadmill yeah?? Well, I'll be goin with mum again tomorrow, so we'll see how it all goes.

Shit.

Now I feel so much pressure goin back to S'pore cos I've put on a whole shitload of weight. And EVERYONE is frickin aneroxic. Oh nooooooooo.....!!!!! Now everyone's gonna know that I've been pigging out like a maniac!!!! Never mind. 10 more days to go. I shall go on a super intense crash diet/exercise regime.

Sigh.

That's what I ALWAYS say.

I feel damn bad lately. Think its cos I'm PMSing. Aiyah, as usual lah. Actually, I've got loads on my mind.

First off, other than him, my walk with God has not been very good. Yeah, you know I'm ashamed to actually say it. Its like here I am, and I'm supposed to continue to encourage my mom and sis and I'm supposed to be a testimony to them. But how to when I can't even be bothered to do devotions? I mean, I don't even have a regular prayer life anymore you know? That's bad. That's really bad. But then again. I do sorta talk to Him from time to time. So I guess to say that its completely non-existent is wrong too.

So here we go. Resolution making time.

Resolution #1
I shall start doing devotions regularly. Best do it in the DAY with mom.

Resolution #2
I shall lose weight, slim down, tone up, by faithfully going to the gym, and EATING LESS

Yup.

Now anyway, I'm kinda...... I dunno what. We don't talk on the phone anymore. And when we do talk on msn.... hmph. I seriously have no idea. I seriously think that he has a thing for Miss "Yen". Argh. Just pisses me off. If he does, then what can I say?? He's a real asshole then. An Asss. A HUGE Prick. No.... make it a small one. Arghhhhhh. Its so frustrating. She called him while she was out having drinks with her friends and told him how she missed him or something like that. I'm just thinking you know..... He's gonna be bunging over at my place for awhile when the sem starts. I wonder how that'll be. That makes it easier for me to do something about the situation right? HRUMPH. Shan't think about it. Whatever happens will happen anyhow. You know, I just gotta keep reminding myself that he can't be trusted. As simple as that. Somehow, Ron Ho, aka submind is right. You just can't trust anyone. Erm... anyway, I'm just thinking that He makes me feel really insecure. really really really insecure. Somehow, I feel that hating him would actually be much much much easier. But then again, its hard to actually hate someone isn't it? And knowing me, I'd probably feel really bad about it. Duh! Dang! I hate feeling this way all the time. I hate the insecurity of it all. Damnit!

Moral of the Story?? You can't trust an asshole.

Resolution #3
I shall stop thinking and fretting over the asshole.

Btw, didcha know that I haven't showered yet? I 've ben back from the gym for an awfully long time already, and I haven't showered.

Phhheeeeeww!!!!

I'm monsieur le skunk now!!!

Haha!!! Shall go take a loooong shower now.

I'll be back when I smell much sweeter! haahhahaha!!! :)

We stumble in a tangled web
Decaying frienships almost dead
And hide behind a mask of lies.

We twist and turn and we avoid
All the hope of salvage now devoid
I see the truth inside your eyes.

Time manipulates your heart,
Preconceptions torn apart
Begin to doubt my state of mind.

But I won't go down on what I said
I won't retract, convictions read
I may perplex but I'm not blind.

You could resurrect a thousand words to deceive me more and more.
A thousand words will give the reasons why I don't need you anymore.

So get this into your head

What we once had is now dead

Went down to the markets today to get Christmas Lights with mum, and such a crush it was. Will make it a point not to go down during lunchtime again. Bought a pretty mauve string bikini as well. Haha! Tried it on already, and figured that I don't look that bad afterall!! More incentive for me to work out and tone up my abs!! :) Sigh..... remember the situps that I've been doing? Well.... erm... I've stopped doin them already. Darn, but am offline on msn now, and Shawn seems to be workin out in earnest. Apparently, he was wroking out last night, and he's at the pool now probably doing laps. Hrumph! This already means that I'm probably not gonna win the bet. 3mths to get into shape. Its already been almost 3 weeks, and I've done shit!

Dang!!!

C'mon girl!!!

Get off your fat ass and start movin!!!

Start workin out!!!

Whatever happened to your exercise routine and the diet plan that you had already worked out back in Syd!????

Grrrrrrrr...........!

Actually, this is not working very well either. Thought that I could get myself all pumped up and revving to go. But I'm still sittin in front of the comp, still wrapped in my towel (which incidentally smells like the mango body butter from The Body Shop) and its making me wanna take a nice loooooong warm milk bath in the tub, put on a face mask, then slather slabs of mango body butter once I get out. *hmmmm --> a la Homer Simpson*

BUT!!!

NO LEANNE!!!

BAD MONKEY!!!

You're doing ur situps before you shower.

No arguing.

That's that.

:|

You know what? I feel weird now. I feel as though I'm suffering from MPD. Multiple Personality Disorder.

Lemme sidetrack a little. For those of you who don't do psych, and don't know, lemme educate you a little! :) Loadsa peeps think that you're schizophrenic if you've got split personalities, or multiple personalites. Well, that's a common misconception. Cos Schizos basically suffer from delusions and paranoia, and that's about it, I think. They're the ones who hear voices in their heads and stuff like that. But people with multiple personalites are... erm.... ppl who suffer from MPD???? Okok.... you get the point.

Where was I going with this?

AH yAH!!! The point is, I'm actually arguing with myself in this blog entry. WEird. Oh well.....

Kay. gonna go shower now.

Nope. Gotta do situps first.

Sigh......

I'm obviously procrastinating.

Sigh......

Shall go off now...

And do the damn situps.

Tootsy loo!

Been listening to this a lot lately, and the lyrics are just so beautiful, I gotta put it down somewhere. Its really comforting also, for me to know that God has a place for me in His great plans no matter how small and insignicant I am. Goes to show how much God really truly loves us, and if we know this, then we should surrender ourselves to him and submit to his will wholeheartedly, yes?! :)

Beautiful Lord wonderful Savior
I know for sure all of my days are
Held in Your hand
Crafted into Your perfect plan

You gently call me into Your presence
Guiding me by Your Holy Spirit
Teach me dear Lord
To live all of my life through Your eyes

I'm captured by Your holy calling
Set me apart
I know You're drawing me to Yourself
Lead me Lord I pray

Take me mold me
Use me fill me
I give my life to the Potter's hand
Call me guide me
Lead me walk beside me
I give my life to the Potter's hand

okok.... last note.

now i have to figure out how to edit the links and everything!!!

but no worries!!! a step at a time!

I am super duper pleased with myself! Check it out dudes and dudettes (Clarence claims it's dudettes, even though I KNOW its Dudesses!! I'll let him win on this one!) the unveiling of my new blog!!!! Errrr... .that's techinically wrong of course! Its more like my Blog has been re-vamped!! Been given a new coat of paint, it has!!! *Hyucks* Maybe this will motivate me more in updating my blog!

It was painstaking I tell you! I'm a tech moron, I am, and I just figured out that I could actually get blogskins. But being the Tech Retard, I couldn't really figure out how to use it. I mean, I know all about copying and pasting. Duh! That's not beyond me, but the point is, when you copy and paste, you copy and paste lotsa other stuff too like the original links and stuff. Plus, it came with loadsa other stuff that I haven't figured out how to usee yet... (If I ever will figure out how to use it in the first place, that is...) So anyways, I was on MSN asking whoever I could get my hands on about how to use it, ya know? Anyways, finally decided that all I wanted to change was the colours anyway, so I just substituted all the colour codes I wanted and VOILA! There you have it!!! Me new blog!! Dunno why, it sounds pretty simple, now that I've typed it all out. BUT, it was pretty tedious.... for a tech moron anyway!

I'm so excited! Actually, it doesn't seem that hard after all yah??? Shall go online and see if I can learn the basics or something!!!

That's about it I guess.... Wanna make more changes, so till lata! Tata!

tuskudrusla ++ link ++ link ++ link ++ link ++ link ++ link

link ++ friends ++ friends ++ friends ++ friends ++ friends ++ friends ++ tuskudrusla

Who am I?! Wouldn´t you like to know? But anyway. Welcome to my blogskin :)

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