Monday, August 25, 2003
hmm... really annoyed with myself, cos I do this ALL the time.... Leanne Leanne Leanne, don't you learn any better? I've been trying to blog for the past few days. Surprise Surprise eh?? Guess you haven't been seeing any new entries of late. Why is that? Cosmy dear self has been forgetting to publish the stupid posts once I have done it. DUH! No lah, its along those lines, but not quite. All of us have been having dinner together lately, compliments of Sh and Fel basically. So have been really busy lately. Thing is, I switch on my comp, log on, and start blogging, but get interrupted halfway..... and since this is supposed to be a private thingy (more or less anyway), I've had to close the window quickly. then I forget about it for like a few hours, then the computer hangs, then I have to reboot.... then I lose the previous unpublished entry.
I'm doing it again. I have a lecture in 1/2 and hour, which gives me 15 mins to change, and I'm blogging now. Will prob post this before I leave, even though its just 1/2 a page of ramblings.
I've had loadsa fun lately. Have loadsa pics to show for it too.... will see if I can get someone to help me post it online. Probs Feli or Sals lah. Will see how. Till lata.
Leanne rocked @ 8/25/2003 12:27:00 PM
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Monday, August 18, 2003
Ahhhh!!! I just had to come back here and blog and let EVERYONE know how much I looove them!!! Hahahahahaha!
Ok.... was gonna read a few other blogs yah? Was reading Lime's blog, and man!!! Ah feel da same way seester!!
No lah, Its just that, I was talking to a someone last night, and I figured... you know.... how attached I'm getting to everyone here, which is good, and also not. good... Know what I mean? When peeps go bak to S'pore, guess where I'll be? Nowhere near, that's for certain. I'll be a 4hr flight away from all of them.... sigh.... so sad....
But anyway, on the subject of her blog, I was telling dunno who that Man! I feel so loved man! Hahaha! Whoever's reading this, you know who you are man! You're getting a lot better with the whole "touch" thingy. Its really comforting to know that when you're feeling depressed, those who take their time to truly get to know you know what to do. Back rubs!!!!! Hahahaha! When u-know-who-u-are rubbed my back voluntarily, I was like whoa!!!!! She's come a looong way man!! Sigh..... then I was like man! For someone who's not normally the affectionate sort, this is something yah??? And I feel so loved man!! Hahaha!
Yah. So what's the purpose of this entry? Its to tell all that I looooove them!!! Like mel and auds are so fond of singing....
IFFY U
DONTA LAFF-FU MEEEE
I WEEL
JUMP INTO DA SEEEE
BE-COS-EE I LAFF-FU U
SOOOOOOOOOO MUCHEEEEEEE!
Yah man! So this is going out to....
LeaS, FelsL, LimeC, MichW, ShaE, ReuF, ClarT, NilW, Ees, PeaL, TonL, JamC, AndC, LyaT, ShiY, YvoL, AmL, SerT, JunL, ViK, AuK, FelT
LOove you guys man!
Leanne rocked @ 8/18/2003 12:53:00 PM
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Argh! Am so annoyed. i had a nice loong entry more or less typed out just now, and i accidentally deleted it. So now I have to start all over again! Argh! Can't be bothered. ANNOYING!
Was thinking that there may be something weird with me lately. Have all the makings of an amateur insomniac man! Was really really tired yesterday, cos was out more or less the whole day yesterday, and didn't really get much sleep the night before. Anyway, was physically tired, but my mind was like a demented de-railed train man...... It was just chugging away like crazy. Was on the phone with a someone, and I was just thinking of all these different things. He asked me what I was thinking about, but I couldn't really tell him what, cos I didn't know myself. i just had all these things going through my head, and it was really really annoying. But other than that, I had a really good night once I fell asleep.
Had dinner with Neas at this Jap restaurant last night. Was actually pretty good, but don't think that I should get too close to him man. He's just too wild. I mean, talk about chasing magic dragons, gambling, and partying really hard everyday man. He like blew at least $500 the night I met him lor. But, must admit that there's some sort of attraction there lah. I mean, He's the bad boy sort, and he's also pretty cool... know what I mean? Its just like that No Doubt song "Bathwater". Oh well, will just club and drink with him lah. Make it a social thing, I guess.
Its already 4th week of school. I have to really buckle down and study man. Dunno why all I can think about up to know is hanging out and chilling with friends..... Hmmm.... Had a blast last sem. Hope to have a blast this sem too.
Losing interest in this blog. Will go check out other blogs online.
Leanne rocked @ 8/18/2003 12:21:00 PM
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Saturday, August 16, 2003
Meant to blog yesterday, but got back too late and too tired. So.... went for the S'pore dance party night before last, and it was pretty ok lah. Wouldn't exactly say that it was a total blast, but that's beside the point. I met several people there.... including some looong looost friends. (ie. those that I try to meet up with at least once a sem!!!) Haha!!
Can't type too fast, cos don't want to ruin my nails. Had a French Manicure done, and can't do a lot of stuff I normally could. Tony's giving my baby back to me tomorrow probably!!! I'm gonna get my babyyyy backkkk!!! Yayy! Only thing is, can't play with these nails.... ah well..... never mind. Can't have my cake and eat it...
Anyway, back on track. It was ok lah, I guess. Got too close to someone though, and dunno how its all gonna go cos I'll be meeting him on Sunday and well..... dunno how awkward its gonna get, but well... was talking to someone about it, and figured that.... well, what the heck. Everyone gets close to everyone else at a club anyway, so no biggie lah. Thing is, its wrong to say that its no big deal, but its wrong to make nothing out of it either. I'm not like that anyway. I guess I'll just put it down to AMI and just move on. Maybe the reason why I got a little havoc that night was cos I haven't been clubbing for long? Too represssed maybe?!! HAHAHA! MUAKS! Hars! Just had to do that!
Yeah well, That night, they all came over to my place and decided to get boozed up before we go. Drinks are expensive there man. But quite fun lah. 9 of them came over and we meant to play games, but it was too late, so we had to rush through the whole thing and just down shots in quick succession. It was good man, what can I say? The wine was good, the vodka was good, the Archer's was good, and the company was excellant! Cheers to that! *hick*
Had dinner with eves and yun yesterday. Actually, must say that it was quite fun, better than expected. She's quite nice now, I guess, wonder how come we didn't exactly get along last time.... but maybe I guess that everyone's nicer having left the borenic group! hahahaha!!! Yah lah, it was really funny, cos when I met Neas at the club, he was like, and I quote," Shit! You must be phucking kidding man! Please don't tell me you came with them!" followed by, "Ahh! I'm so glad you left that group! They're such phucking losers man!"
Gonna be going to Paramatta. Apparently there's a Westfield there too, so will go there and have a looksee. Plus, the Temasek restaurant is supposed to be like the culmination of S'porean cooking in Sydney. We'll see how fantabulous it is. If i don't rave about it in my next entry, then prob not so good. Tata!
Leanne rocked @ 8/16/2003 10:27:00 AM
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Thursday, August 14, 2003
Just woke up about.... half an hour ago? And just had this overwhelming urge to blog.... and when i say overwhelming, I mean OVERWHELMING! Hmm.... dunno what's wrong with me... Been getting all these cravings lately..... Like 2 days before, I got this HUGE, MASSIVE GI-NORMOUS chocolate craving. I couldn't stop thinking about it, I couldn't stop talking about it. Limey asked if I was pregnant. I THINK NOT! No guy anyway.... hars! That's beside the point yah???!!! ... err... anyway, MOVING ON!
Woke up this morning in a really good mood. I wonder why.... maybe its cos 'my special friend' messaged me last night? Was pretty late too... so its nice to know that 'my special friend' still thinks about me! Hahahaha! Ok... maybe I shouldn't have typed that down... Feel like a bleeding idiot now. Which brings the invisible man to mind. You know the invisible man? Lyrics are damn nice. Here goes.
I wish you'd look at me that way/ your beautiful eyes looking deep into mine/ telling me more than any words could say/ but you don't even know I'm alive/ Cos baby to you all I am is the invisible man. - 98 degrees.
Actually, not really applicable lah, Cos i obviously talk to 'my special friend'! Hahahahaha!!!!
Ok. I'm in too good a mood.
Which is not good.
Cos I'm just walking around like a bloody ya-ya-ing idiot.
Stop it!!!!!
Hahahaha!
Oops. There I go again!
Ok. Never Mind.
Moving on.
Going to that dance party tonight. Feeling quite happy over it as well, I guess. I was pretty apprehensive about going, but now I don't feel so bad. Haven't clubbed for AGES, so I guess it'll be nice to go again. I guess I just needed someone... or many someones to push me and pressure me into going. Yah. Anyway, a bit worried though, cos i know that i'll get into a really pissy mood again if the same thing which happened last year happens again. Last year's National Day Bash was held somewhere at Pitt, and the place was overcrowded. Was in the queue, in the cold, for like..... 2 and a half hours? Anyway, couldn't get in at all. They had queues going 2 ways. The queue going off to the right was for those with their stamps who couldn't GET BACK IN, and the other queue was for those who couldn't even MAKE IT IN. How sad was that? I'll throw a tantrum - in the privacy of my own room when i get back - if the same thing happens.
Yah lah, that's it for now I guess. Stupid computer is damn slow. Can't open multiple windows or the whole bloody thing hangs. Saw a really nice Vaio when was out with vix and gang. Its soooooo nice...... I want!!! But then again, Dads got this one for me, and its still working fine... more or less... so I guess I'll just use until... dunno when lah.
Ok. Better go surf the news channels for current affairs stuff now. Need it for Asian Politics class later. Don't want to look like a mountain tortoise.
Leanne rocked @ 8/14/2003 10:49:00 AM
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Wednesday, August 13, 2003
Okayyy... so.... like what Mars would say, "what's that about?!" Yah man, what's that about? Ok, if you just popped by, I'm ranting and raving about my previous post. Why did I include it? I truly have no idea? Just thought that it was interesting, I guess... Thought that the book was really thought provoking and profound. Imagine how hard it is to explain such abstract concepts and still come up with all these examples and analogies to bring it across.... Kudos to Daniel Quinn!
Hars! No lah. Anyway, this is one of those days where I just felt like writing/rambling/going-off-on-a-tangent/blah blah blah. Anyway, Its just an interesting thing to do from time to time when I have nothing much to say, I guess.... Will try and do this every week though... Put in excerpts of what I'm reading...
There's a lot of stuff going on in the fellowship now. And its pretty disappointing and disillusioning to say the least. Why? cos its a fellowship, thas why. I mean, we're all brothers and sisters in Christ, and we should all love one another. Its really upsetting to see one brother trying to take another sister down. Since when has it ever been a rivalry thingy? Whatever it is, I feel like I have no right to do or say anything. I mean, what gives me the right to say something when i'm not in the committee anyway? Anyway, the way i'm seeing things, there's nothing I can do anyway, short of making a scene and confronting the authoritative twins and blowing the whole matter up, which is definitely a big no no. Anyway, I'm just gonna love them as my brother and sister in Christ lah. I mean... WWJD? He would definitely do that, accept them for who they are, faults and all. We've all got our faults anyway, and they become glaring in different lights. So.... yah lor.... I guess its just hard right now, cos in a way, its upsetting when you know that you love people so much, faults and all, and expect them to do the same, and they don't. Oh well, not up to me to judge. I have my own faults anyway, so will just leave everything to God! Amen!
Leanne rocked @ 8/13/2003 09:45:00 PM
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"Man's destiny was to conquer and rule the world, and this is what he's done- almost. He hasn't quitre made it, and it looks as though this may be his undoing. The problem is that man's conquest of the world has itself devasteted the world. And in spite of all the mastery we've attained, we don't have enough mastery to stop devestating the world- or to repair the devestation we've already wrought. We've pured our poisons into the world as though it were a bottomless pit- and we go on pouring our poisons into the world. We've gobbled up irreplacable resources as though they could bever run out- and we go on gobbling them up. It's hard to imagine how the world could survive another century of this abuse, but nobody's really doing anything about it. Its a problem our children will have to solve, or their children.
"One thing can save us. We have to increase our mastery of the world. All this damage has come about through our conquest of the world, but we have to go on conquering until our rule is absolute. Then, when we're in complete control, everything will be fine. We'll have fusion power. No pollution. We'll turn the rain on and off. We'll grow a bushel of wheat in a square centimeter. We'll turn the oceans into farms. We'll control the weather- no more hurricanes, no more tornadoes. no more droughts, no more untimely frosts. We'll make the clouds release their water over the land instead of dumping it uselessly into the oceans. All the life processes of this planet will be where they belong- where the gods meant them to be- in our hands. And we'll manipulate them the way a programmer manipulates a computer.
"And that's where it stands right now. We have to carry the conquest forward. And carrying it forward is either going to destroy the world or turn it into a paradise- into the paradise it was meant to be under human rule.
"And if we manage to do this- if we finally manage to make ourselves the absolute rulers of the world- then nothing can stop us. Then we move into the Star Trek era. Man moves out into space to conquer and rule the entire universe. And that may be the ultimate destiny of man: to conquer and rule the entire universe. That's how wonderful man is.
"The world was made for man to conquer and rule, but his conquest turned out to be more destructive than anticipated.
"Under human rule, the world should have become a paradise, but...
"people screwed up.
"They wanted to turn the world into a paradise, but, being human, they were bound to screw it up.
"But why? Why being human, were they bound to screw it up?
"Its because there's something fundamentally wrong with humans. Something that definitely works against paradise. Something that makes people stupid and destructive and greedy and shortsighted.
"Of course. Everyone in your culture knows this. Man was born to turn the world into paradise, but tragically he was born flawed, And so his paradise has always been spoiled by stupidity, greed, destructiveness, and shortsightedness."
- Taken from a novel by Daniel Quinn: Ishmael: An Adventure of the Mind and Spirit
Leanne rocked @ 8/13/2003 08:26:00 PM
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yuppers! Its only been... how long? and i've already lost interest in the whole thing. hmmm.... out of conveiniance sake, i've decided to type all in small letters.... seems pretty tough, but i'm sure i'll be able to manage.
Anyways, thnx to Fels, i remembered that I have blog going!!! Ahhhhh!!!! Novelty wore off so fast. But anyway, like I was telling her, its a pretty good sign, cos I realised that angst filled people like me only start blogging like crazy when they've got loadsa issues to settle. So in a way, an absence of blog entries shows that... err... I'm normal?????? Which kinda proves that I'm normal and not so angst-filled after all yah??!!! Ok. Never mind. Moving On.
Haven't really thought of WUFUS in that way for quite sometime.... which is really good. Shows that I'm moving on. Oh no! Have a feeling that he's gonna dominate an entire entry again. But....who cares anyway. Its my blog. Will write whatever I want to. So there you go lah. Was really hard at first, cos... well... you know... you see him and you remember all the things you once did together, or said... But then again, there are some things which need no longer be said or done. Everything's understood. And that's the way it has to be between us. Period. I just gotta be really careful now, cos I'm still pretty close to him. Don't really wanna get any closer to him, cos Drew said that i still probably mean something to him, and I don't think I can live through all the insecurity once he goes back. That sucks.
On the other hand, I think its good in a way, cos well..... not equally yoked and all that. Disappointed also, cos it seems as though he doesn't really want to make a committment to God. He still thinks its ok to smoke and everything. I just think that it'd be nice if he WANTED to make the EFFORT to try and stop.... but oh well.... its not my call, its his, and i guess its something that he should want for himself.
Anyway, there's a dance party coming up, and I truly don't feel like going. Why? Simply because too many people are going. Call me contrary or whatever, but i don't particularly feel like a social creature, and going to a club EVERYONE else goes to simply doesn't appeal to me. I just don't particularly like the idea. I mean, I'm just more comfortable going with a bunch of people i know. Anyway, I'm committed already lah, So tough luck for me man!!!
I've been quite happy lately. Just wall papered one side of my wall with photos and photos and photos! How fun! Am into this whole photo taking mood thingy right now! Hafta get dad to gimme his old digi-cam! Then that would be waaaay cool man!!
Ok lah. I've forced myself to write some stuff down. So now I don't feel like my blog's gonna be sparse and empty. You know, just thought of something. Know how I keep mentioning WUFUS in all my blogs? What if the only reason why I'm mentioning him is cos I have nothing else to talk about. What if its cos I'm just using him as a page filler??!!!!
You know, I think I'm a pretty boring person. Been reading other people's blogs and they seem to lead such interesting life.... maybe i should be more aware of what's going on, and more observant too! Then I'll obviously have more to talk about yah?!!
I've just suddenly thought about my favourite bible verse... With everything going on in the fellowship right now.... well....
"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love" - 1 John 4:18
Actually, the book of 1John is my one of my favourites...its so lyrical and the message is good and so applicable to one's life. Ok, I've rambled on enough - 1.16am, Sydney
Leanne rocked @ 8/13/2003 01:04:00 AM
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Monday, August 04, 2003
Yep Yep Yep..... So... its been days already, and this is...what? My third entry? How absolutely pathetic.
Got back my art history essay today, quite pleased with the results lah, so praise God!! I got a 73, which is just 2 marks away from a distinction... feeling a little what about it though, cos LM said that it really had the potential to do much better.... I just wish that i had put in more effort for it, I guess.... But even so, lime is right, and getting a few extra marks wouldn't really affect my grades since i've a distinction overall anyway... hahaha!! Still feeling pretty smug about it.... but then again, its all through the grace of God.... so..... whatever it is, just praise Him anyway!
I'm feeling a little disappointed with WUFUS, cos he didn't go to church on Sunday... maybe its a small thing, and who am I to judge.... but he also didn't go when he was back home... so... think he's beginning to slide a bit? I dunno lah.... but its also not too right lah... i dunno.... I mean, who am I to be disappointed right?
I have a thing right now, and I absolutely hate it. Telling myself that I'm indifferent to him doesn't actually make me feel that way. I still think of wufus and everything. Wonder why wufus doesn't call, what he's doing.... He called just now, and I was pretty pleased and all..... Everything seemes almost as though nothing had ever happened, which was really cool. For sometime, I thought that he called because he simply wanted to talk... u know.... like we used to. And then he asked if I could go over and get some the stuff he left over at Fels, and pass it to him in uni tomorrow. Hmm.... so much for calling to talk...
I wonder what sort of a person he really is.... Is he really as nice as he seems? Or is there more to him?
Went on a picnic with a whole bunch of people on Sat, and had a talk with Drew, who claims that wufus is not a simple kinda guy. To put it simply, he doesn't like him. And now, looking at the way things are.... well, maybe he's not a very nice guy after all. Maybe I'm just suckered into being nice. I feel really bad..... not just about whatever happened between us, even though it really wasn't anything much. The point is, I'm still affected by what happened in a way, so i can't exactly say that it was nothing either. But I feel really bad, because I don't think he told his gf about me, or about what had happened between us. Looking at it from a certain point of view, if I were her, I would definitely want to know about it. Considering also the fact that he wasn't doing anythign wrong since they had already broken up anyway. Then again, I'd be really hurt and all, and it would be better if she doesn't know about any of this.
Argh!!!!! I feel like there's just so much in my head, and I wanna just get it all out before I lose track, that I'm not being eloquent here.... nor am I being grammatically and functionally correct. But who cares anyway???!!! Guess this all factors in to the stream of consciousness bit...!
Anyway, she seems like a really nice person, even though I don't know her, and I feel like I've betrayed her in a sense. The worse part is, I don't understand why I am bothered by this whole issue. I know full well that the whole thing is a minor thingy that will blow over sooner or later, and when it does, I know that I'll look back at the whole thing and maybe laugh and say "Gee, why was I so bothered? Guess I was young and stupid!"
Confession: Was watching a movie with a friend, and all the while, was thinking of him and me making out.
Gee, what do I make of it...?
Darn. Another entry that's all about him. This has gotta stop.
Sydney, 2240hrs - Signing Off
Leanne rocked @ 8/04/2003 10:36:00 PM
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