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Heya. Its 6.10pm now and Vert is back! Hey! That's not too bad a pun really.... geddit? Vert as in green to those Frenchies out there!! I'm into Green now.... loadsa green.... Anyways, if you read my last entry which was.... erm... ages and ages ago, well, you'll realise that I'm not exactly very consistent.... that i'm just gonna see how long i can keep up with posting new blogs and stuff..... so.....

Been back in Sydney already, and must say that its really very very liberating. Was concerned about how the initial meeting between me and WUFUS would be, but that seems pretty much ok. We're both kinda immature, acting as though nothing has ever happened, but that's ok with me, cos i'm a total expert in this game of escapism and avoidance! Haha! But anyway, seriously, its not as if there's anything much to be said. I mean, what's obvious is (duh) pretty obvious, and what needs to be said has already been said. Talking about whatever else needs to be said won't change a thing, so why bother??? I guess some things are simply meant to be left unsaid. I'm not the sort that's likely to put pressure on anyone anyway. Don't see the point in doing that. Its almost like asking for a handout, if you know what i mean, and frankly, i'm not that desperate yet!

On the other hand, I can't help the GREEN-eyed monster that infiltrates and possesses my being whenever I hear them talking. Like seriously. I'm just like... "Get over it already! And stop whining" but then saying and convincing myself of how i feel different from actually believing it yah??

Sals says that she thinks that he's hurt me more than i've hurt him. I guess that's true??? I'm not too sure though, cos i guess he's pretty much in a win-win situation. Does he owe me an explanation for what happened? In a way, i guess, some say he does. But i'm just gonna leave it up to him. If he's 'decent' enough, then he'll say something sooner or later. If not, then well.... what can i say?

I've just realised that i've been rambling on and on about WUFUS in this entry, and in the previous entry. Gonna make a conscious effort to stop it!!

I'm thinking about me right now.... thinking that i can be pretty selfish sometimes. Like duh right?! Who isn't?! But the point is, that i may not be that social a creature after all. Supposed to have lunch with this girl i met at wentworth who's err.... older then me. I'll just call her Peg (but she looks more like a PEGGY). Anyway, she's new to the church, and she doesn't exactly have many friends, even though i think she's really friendly. (Lee and WUFUS thinks that she's only nice to me.... but i dunno lah!! Haha! Can't help being ever so lovable!) Been trying to arrange a date with her, and now that its finally set, I don't feel like going. Feel like dropping her, but I feel really bad. Maybe I ought to be a little more giving.

On the other hand, I don't really want to be a door-mat, or a pushover yah??!!! So i'm just gonna look at it this way. There's nothing wrong, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG in being a complete door-mat. After all, Christ was the Son of God, and yet he was such a humble servant. So I shall attempt to be more Christ-like in that area, and try and be more giving!!! That's what they say is being "Christ centred and other people focused"!

Yeah.... Lemme sidetrack a little.

I figured that since what you've been reading is supposed to be the "ramblings of the inner mind", I should probably write it in the "stream-of-consciousness" style which people like Nadine Gordimer, Angela Carter, (and maybe Virginia Woolf?) used. That would be really cool... without any full stops, commas, or paragraphing altogether. But, nah. That would be a pain to read, and what's the point if I can't even go back and read all my other entries yah?!

I'm reading Michael Moore's book Stupid White Men right now, and its actually not too bad. You guys should go get it! I originally thought that it was simply EXCELLENT, but after reading a lil bit more, I kinda figured that it only rates as GOOD, NOT TOO BAD, ORIGINAL. Why? Because after awhile, I wonder if he actually believed what he wrote about. Take for example, Kill Whitey. (Its a chapter in the book by the way) Its too.... propagandistic... if you get what i mean.... I mean, he's writing about how oppressed the blacks are and everything. And it just makes me wonder if he's writing about all this stuff because he wants to be known as the good-guy-who-tries-to-make-a-difference by taking on idealistic, and politically correct viewpoints. I mean, sure, its good that we know what's going on and everything, but i just find the whole thing a little..... OTT???

I guess that's all for now. Its cold, and my fingers are numb and frozen. That's all for now, I guess, till later!

Hmm.... interesting, never really wondered why people started blogging in the first place.... but since i'm bored and have nothing much to do.... well.... here i am. Its 4.58pm in HK now, and i've been home the whole day.... well, not really the whole day. more like MOST of the day.

Woke up, had brekky, and went to the gym. Came back, hasd lunch, showered, shaved legs.... online now.

Wonder if anyone's gonna be seeing this....

Wonder how long its gonnatake before i get bored of blogging...

Going back to Sydney tomorrow, taking the midnight flight. Kinda nervous about it actually... gonna be meeting up with whassisface face to face pretty soon. wonder if anything's gonna happen, if anything's gonna be said.... or are we just gonna act as though nothing had happened? Thas probably gonna be what's gonna happen. Guess i'm disappointed and upset that the whole thing happened, but well, it was good while it lasted yah? Felt really constrained in the relationship, but miss that feeling once it was over.... was i relieved as well? Don't really know. Commitment problems on my side maybe?

School term starting soon. Gonna be overloaded with work. Will be doigng senior units though. Don't know if i'm gonna be looking forward to it.

Its 5 now. Feeling kinda hungry. Gonna get something to munch on maybe?? Will be seeing you later in awhile maybe...