Sunday, November 30, 2003
I think I'm going bra-and-panty crazy! Hahahaha!!!! Nah.....!
Anyways, think that I'm gonna be a happier person at the end of this. Why? Cos I just weighed myself in the afternoon, and i've lost 2kgs! Hahaha! Kudos to me! That aside, maybe the situps that I've been doing helped a lot. Not too sure though. I've been doing 100 situps straight a day, and now it seems as though my tummy and my muscles don't ache anymore.... hmm... I must have moved beyond 100 in a sitting then!!! But even so, Tummy's still there...doesn't seem any smaller.... dunno why.... BUT, I shall persevere!
Just got back from Stanley today, and realised how much HK has changed. I haven't been to Stanley for like ages, and it used to be this small little touristy place... But now, its like this HUGE touristy thingy. Its lost part of its charm I guess, cos its so commercialised now. But no worries. I still had fun! Had thai food too. And that made me think of Sydney, Newtown and Thai-La-Ong! Sigh... miss everyone so much. Was talking to Shawn online, and even he misses Sydney a lot. Hahaha! Or it could be the spending power that he misses. :)
Anyway, I've been thinking that I've lotsa potential to go completely neurotic or psychotic. I mean, I'm thinking about me telling Uncle Raj about how I have the potential to become Bulimic. I mean, when you think about it, its not hard making yourself throw up. Sure, I've done it before. But that was only when I was feeling really nauseous, or when I'd drank so much I needed to puke so bad. None of the induced-puking was ever food-related, but that's not to say that there are no chances of that happening.... know what i mean? Obviously, that's not to say that I'm gonna rush to the loo right after typing this blog and sticking fingers don't my throat. Duh! Point is, I know that once I start doing that whenever I feel sick cos I over-ate, I'll prob keep doin it..... cos it can get pretty addictive.... know what I'm sayin? And that's the same thing with sleeping pills..... can get very addictive too... :) This is weird... was looking back at what I was writing, and realised that i sound like some sort of weird manic depressive with weight issues..... well.... well...! Contrary to how I may seem right now, I'm actually in a darn good mood! ;)
Sigh.
I miss him though
Leanne rocked @ 11/30/2003 11:31:00 PM
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Saturday, November 29, 2003
Insecurities play upon me
And I wonder
I wonder if
The lies I tell
The stories I spin
The fantasies I make up
Serves to fill the chasm of my heart
Doubtfulness overwhelms me
And I wonder
I wonder when
The pounding of my heart will stop,
The fear subsides
Only to give way to blessed oblivion
And I wonder
I wonder what
Will happen if I wade out into the sea
What will happen if I fall
Into the well of misery
No rope to pull
No walls to claw
Leanne rocked @ 11/29/2003 12:58:00 PM
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I've made a new resolution today. In fact, I always do. What's my new resolution, you say? Well, I shall not think about HIM or fret about IT anymore.
You get what I mean.
I don't really know what's going on between us right now. In fact, I never do. R keeps saying that i'm so problematic! Hahaha! Which is kinda true, I guess. After all, I did tell him that i wanted him to treat me as a friend. And simply as friend. I did tell him thatI wanted hin to treat me the way he treats LS, or FL, or LM. Then why is it that I get upset when he does?
I'm Jealous.
I hate to admit it, but I am Jealous. Jealous with a capital 'J' to boot. And the best thing is, I have no right being in that frame of mind. He doesn't owe me anything, and its not as though we're anything. Cos we're not.
Argh. Anyway, I think we're just playing stupid little games with each other. I'm going along the lines of "Come if you want, if not, who cares?" and I think he is too. Then again, who really knows. I did tell Fels that speculation will kill her. I've been there, done that. Yet, I keep doing the same thing. Oh well. Whatver it is, I shall just take it lightly and we'll just see how it goes.
Leanne rocked @ 11/29/2003 11:24:00 AM
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Wednesday, November 26, 2003
i'm back again
i've been reading some blogs
and i wonder
why am i not as passionate as others are when writing blogs?
maybe its cos i don't feel a connection to my so called online journal anymore
or maybe its cos sometimes pouring out stuff hurts in the end
you write and you write and you type
and you look back at what you've written
and think
boy! am i really that dumb?
that stupid??
stop it leanne
but
i
can't
Leanne rocked @ 11/26/2003 01:05:00 AM
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Tuesday, November 25, 2003
ok. i'm annoyed. y?
cos i just wrote a nice looong entry
and i deleted it accidentally
again
shall go and sulk
then maybe i'll feel better.
did i fail to mention
that i haven't spoken to him the whole day today
i'm getting pissy
and my icq doesn't work.
hmph
i'm miffed.
Leanne rocked @ 11/25/2003 11:52:00 PM
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